Sessions Questions and Answers

What happens in a first session?

The first session is an opportunity for us to meet, for me to identify what would be most useful for you right now, and to introduce some catalytic factors. Meeting involves a discussion of your personal journey and your sexual history. While we talk, I am listening to your words but also sensing what is happening in your physical and energy bodies. From there I may take you into an activity that can catalyze the area of your awareness that is priority at the time. This may involve movement, sound, breath work and touch.

Naked or not?

I may give you the option at some point to be naked if I feel that nakedness would be supportive to the work. Please note however that this is not the place to come if you are looking for titilation.

How many sessions are required?

My advice is that you take it one session at a time. For some people, one session catalyzes as much as they need for this lifetime. Some people come for a regular session once every two weeks or once a month. The choice is yours.

How long will it take to learn Tantra?

This is a lifelong learning program, if you want to give it dimensions.I could answer the question with another: How long does it take to drop all the illusions standing in the way of full presence?

In my experience, Tantric awareness deepens rapidly in people, particularly if you come for regular sessions or start participating in other activities.

Can I come without a partner?

You can certainly learn Tantra on your own. If you are in a relationship, you are welcome to come with your partner or on your own. If you come on your own, the awareness that you gain, will benefit your relationship, in that it will increase the general level of awareness around.

Should I be scared?

Yes. This could change your life.

Do you work with men and women?

Yes. I have a male colleague who assists me in working with women if the woman requests this. I do group work with men and women, and also with women only. My colleague may soon be starting some work with men only.

Will Tantra cure premature ejaculation?

Tantra is not a medical or therapeutic discipline, it is an awareness practice aimed at your awakening. The suppressions in your sexuality which get expressed in sexual functioning will drop away smoothly as a consequence of the work. But this is not the first aim.

Herman Hesse was a Tantrika

Tantra, the ancient art of Conscious Sexuality which I am calling Totality Therapy here, requires
a movement through dualities. Dualities are the throught constructs that keep our partialities in place. A primary duality is our beliefs around good and evil.

These beliefs come from earliest childhood experiences. The great 19th century mystic and writer Herman Hesse depicts the formation of this duality masterfully in his novel Demian. The novel starts where the main character, Sinclair, starts to become aware of the two worlds that he inhabits. There is the world of goodness, light and righteousness created by his parents, and there was the unpredictable world of chaos and darkness that the servants lived in. "It was wonderful to be living in a house in a reign of peace, order and tranquility, duty and good conscience, forgiveness and love, but it was no less wonderful that there was the other, the loud and shrill, sullen and violent world from which you could dart back to your mother in one leap."

But as Sinclair grows up, he falls into bad company and finds himself hopelessly embroyled in a cycle of lies. Sinclair believes that "..now the Devil has me in his clutches" and experiences himself as forever lost to the world of light.

His savior from this torment is the strange, dignified character of Demian, an older boy in his school. Over the course of years, Demian initiates Sinclair into another, much more dangerous understanding: the knowledge that all ideas of "right" and "wrong" are our constructs. And that ultimately it is our own responsiblity to choose the rules we live by.

The essential truth that Demian teaches Sinclair is that a life of totality, of stopping at nothing but the truth, will require of you to stand on your own in stead of following the herd. Hesse describes those who have this attitude to life as those who bear the 'sign'.

Towards the end of the novel, where Sinclair finds this truth in himself, he says:

"We who bore the 'sign' might rightly be considered odd by the world, even mad and dangerous. We were 'awake' or 'awakening' and our striving was directed at an ever-increasing wakefulness, weheras the striving and quest for happiness of the rest was aimed at identifying their thoughts, ideals, duties, their lives and fortunes more and more closely with that of the herd. That too was striving, that too was power and greatness. But whereas we, in our conception, represented the will of nature to renew itself, to individualize and march forward, the others lived in the desire of the perpetuation of things as they are. For them humanity- which they loved as we did - was something complete that must be maintained and protected. For us humanity was a distant goal towards which we were marching, whose image no one yet knew, whose laws were nowhere written down." - p136

As people on a path of totality, we learn to recognise others who bear the 'sign' and find special delight in their company. This is one of the reason why in our school we create many structured and informal group events. That we may enjoy the eccentric company of all those who refuse to live by laws that are already written down, because we follow another, deeper, much more potent knowing that has no words.